The troubles of the past, got me questioning my future. the troubles of my past, are getting harder to get past. it's troublesome that I trust no one. I don't even trust myself. I second guess all my decisions, and questions your motives. I know I shouldnt be this way, But my past was real hard on me. Been used, abused and cheated on before. And lied to constantly. so now I constantly question everything that don't feel right to me. I guess I fear being happy, because happy is something I never been. I never been told the truth before, so I guess i'm comfortable with lies. I should be comfortable looking in your eyes, knowing that your not the same as them. I guess I fear losing the fear of having it done to me again. Look this is me being vurnarable. You have the power to destroy me. I'm fearful for my life right now, because i'm letting love control me. The hardest thing for us to do is change, And i'm giving it my very best. I just prey my reality is truthful now, Because i'm tried of everything being second guessed. Love got me living in fear. I just don't want to be hurt again.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
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