the balled of the maestro

He played a different kind of melody/A tune so melodic/He conducted such an orchestra with millions of instruments/the percussionist amazed while the violinist played, the string instruments were being strummed away/vividly he saw the melody that he would bring to life/He conducted with such passion, because It represented his life/two kids and a wife that were removed from his life, courtesy of a drunk driver on that fateful night/He stood in front of the crowd with his back turned to them, and got in tune with the orchestra that represented him/He held the baton tight that he would use this night, that he would swing rhythmically when the time was right/The orchestra tuned their instruments and he made sure he was ready/raised his arms stern and steady/ He had the world on the ready/At that moment he would strike, they cut on the house light, and the police rushed the stage with news that would enslave the melodies that would rage from the baton that he waved on stage/He didn't cry or flinch, He was dazed/The orchestra would never play/No one ever got to hear what was ringing in his ear/ The maestro disappeared/The melodies still play in his head, But less melodic/He conducts an orchestra of just one/He stood in front of the grave of his family/the baton in one hand, and a loaded gun hung from the other/He raised the gun to his head, and silenced the melodies, and only god heard the balled of the maestro, damn.    

I'm not your enemy

I don't know how I became your enemy. Don't even know if I care. All your doing is pushing me away, When all I want to do is be there. I understand life is hard and your going through it. God know's it's not easy for me. I never once took it out on you, But yet you seem to take it out on me. See you don't realize just how you sound, When you say the things you say to me. I tried my best to understand you, Don't know if you could understand me. You told me things I never knew before, So I try to gain understanding. All I asked for was your time to talk, And all of a sudden I'm demanding. Then you tell me It's not about me, So my issues I huddle over. But now I see just what it really is, that horrible chip upon your shoulder. I don't know how I became your enemy. Don't even know if I care. All you did was push me away, When I tried to be there. Guess thats the way life is sometimes. The more you try, the more they fight. When I look back at the situation, I know I tried with all my might. I'm not your enemy, remember this. My dear the world only gets colder. I hope one day you realize, I only offered a warm coat and a shoulder.

By the time you read this.

By the time you read this I'll be gone. I was too scared to tell you I was leaving. I wrote this as you slept, in the bed we once kept, I was too scared to tell you that I'm greaving. I seen my death in a dream, my life slipping away, but i'm too scared to tell you your the reason. Theres so many things I want to say, I want to express the truth, But I'm scared because I know you won't believe them. God givith and he taketh away, I can't have you, so for now i'm just a god forsaking heathen. By the time you read this i'll be gone, the man you once knew will change like the seasons.A romance birthed in the spring that would end in the fall, I hope this fall give's my life a new meaning. By the time you read this, I'll be gone. My love ends and my life begins anew. I saw my death in my sleep. My life drifting away, But the reason will not be because of you.                     Goodbye my love.

paranoid/fear

 The troubles of the past, got me questioning my future. the troubles of my past,  are getting harder to get past. it's troublesome that I trust no one. I don't even trust myself. I second guess all my decisions, and questions your motives. I know I shouldnt be this way, But my past was real hard on me. Been used, abused and cheated on before. And lied to constantly. so now I constantly question everything that don't feel right to me. I guess I fear being happy, because happy is something I never been. I never been told the truth before, so I guess i'm comfortable with lies. I should be comfortable looking in your eyes, knowing that your not the same as them. I guess I fear losing the fear of having it done to me again. Look this is me being vurnarable. You have the power to destroy me. I'm fearful for my life right now, because i'm letting love control me. The hardest thing for us to do is change, And i'm giving it my very best. I just prey my reality is truthful now, Because i'm tried of everything being second guessed. Love got me living in fear. I just don't want to be hurt again.

Ialone

Ialone. I used to walk with such feeling. now my emotions are reeling. now I walk with no direction. got me suffering from depression. look I was walking with a plan. she was walking as my girl, I was walking as her man. now this is the walk I can't stand, because now i'm walking alone a cingular man. holding the hand of solitary. confined to just I now. selfish i think I ought to be, because I spent to much time, worring about we. you never worried about me. she spent all of her time worrying about she. guess thats the way it ought to be. In your head their was just you, in my heart there was a we. Ialone. now all i'm left  with is me.so back to the pod I go to Itouch thee, playlist she left for my soul. the soundtrak of my life. A reoccurring theme. The foot prints in the sand that I seen in my dream. Before I saw two prints. now all i see is one.  I'm crossing over this bridge now, the damage is done. This is how it has to be, to be the man I wanna. And once I find what i'm looking for, come back for you i'm gonna. Thats why I didn't burn this bridge here, because I'm hoping you will cross it. I'm on the other side waiting on you. My dear don't take to long to follow.

don't live in your head again

Don't live in your head again/you'll lose touch with reality/your fantasy's will trick you and can't tell the disparity's/on paranoia's voyage, as you travel to the doubt in me/the lines are blurred, its upside down and turned/now whats reality?/don't live in your head again/you' start to think the worst of things/the answers that you got, you question those and now your hurting things/the truth becomes a lie because emotion clouds your reasoning/the gumbo tasted great and now your adding too much seasoning/don't live in your head again, it's full of false illusion's/your selfish, so doomed to come to selfish ass conclusions/you'll think whats right is wrong because whats right is not appealing/the truth it hurts, it's sobering, it also hurt your feelings/your sensitivity done sent you sailing to the ceiling/you think about it too much/stuck trying to reveal things/don't live in your head again you know when something isn't right/you decisively decide with action that your gonna strike/so with that said within my head, withdraw into my present day/you know just what it is, now make your mind up and be on your way.     thanks for the motivation.

I want my shirt back

I want my shrit back. It may seem small and juvenile but I love that shirt. The feelings I had for you my dear, passed. The feelings I have for that shirt will last. That shirt held me when I was sick, and nursed me back to health. That shirt had my back like nobody else. We were a team, my shirt fit me to a tee. To lose that shirt hurts me more then losing thee. so please be a woman about the situation please. Return the best friend I ever had back to me. You saw an opportunity to take my shirt, and you grabbed it. So that makes you a thief because I never said you could have it. Just think, your with somebody new so why would you wear it? That shirt has stories behind it, do you want to share it? Do you want to tell him where you got it from? And why you still wear it? there will never be a you and me so just grin and bear it. My shirt never liked you so please don't wear it. Why hold on to the past? Enjoy his presence. My birthday's coming up so send it as a present. This may be small to you, but it's large amongst things. The reunion of us both. The unshakable team. I love that shirt more then anyone or anything. Be a woman about this and fruition my dream.    thanks for the motivation.

my moon night

The moon is like sunshine in my mind/I find my mind runs so sublime when the lines in my watch pass by day time/I slip into the night without a fight/my eternal light glows bright from the the sight of my luner misstress. I walk the streets at night armed with my portable sight/capturing prizms of light/preserving beautiful sight/I capture her visual might/as I travel the streets at night/I dance in a trance of her hypnotic light/ riots and fights she insite/as crews sip brews and stew in the juice's manufactured by fools/insane she sends the brain of a lame who can't hang with her mysterious luner game/ she's so vain/everything is made about her/where would I be without her/she controls the tides so I will never doubt her/glorious is the power she weilds/as she kills the hold I had on inhibitions I would yeild/she's is my instant trill/the shiver to my chill/she's more then just a rock that orbits around this pill/She represents my will/and I will always rise as she shines her adoring light on my mind devine/This city is mine when she shine's/this city is yours when she's bored/the weak are lured into the daylight/But I shine bright at night/