lie vs truth

please tell me another story/tell me a fairy tail that ends in a dream scenario/whisper a lulaby of lies to pacifiy my disbelief/i'm possesed by the illuion of truth/I know it to be a lie, but a lie i rather live because it's not like I've been the the greatest advocate of truthfulness/you see the deceit in me as well/some of the things we coveit most in this world were based on lies/but the diligent found the truth on their own/and the truth destroys worlds that were built on a foundation of lie's, so when you think about it ignorance truly is bliss/But i rather know then not, and I can decide for myself if the illuion is better then the reality/if I accept the illuion then I spend my days selling myself the lie's/so in essence i'm more of a liar then you are/if I accept the reality of truth then lie's have no room in my world, you have no room in my world/I know what is a lie and I know what to be true/I don't know if I can live in the lie's or except the harsh truth/so present a lie or truth to me and i'll make my decision  from there/in that case ignorance is not bliss.     thanks for the motivation

rule the night/not tonight

I don't sleep like you do. in fact I don't sleep at all. My eye's must like to rebel into darkness. I seem to be more comfortable at night. nocturnal is my approach as I press the city's night life. my eye's rejoice in the city light's. overwhelmed they become as they process the artificial. My eye's and my eyelids fight for power  because my eye's refuse to be covered. One moment will not be missed. I see the world for what it is at night. I see the conservative become the liberal in the blink of an eye.the dark side of your nature takes hold.....Yeah I rule the night on most occasions. Not tonight. NOPE. Tonight my eye's tell me a different story. They tell me how they would like for me to shut the hell up and let my eye lids win. My eyes have been in focus since yesterday afternoon. I put them through so much.they've seen so much. I have done everything that the day would permit. now they crave sleep. I'm sorry guys. I don't mean to be mean, but you can not rest. we still have so far to go. Some how I don't think they are gonna agree. yeah I usually rule the night. NOT TONIGHT. Fu*k this, I'm going to sleep lol.        thanks for the motivation.

tonight we make love

I look at you intensly, but with a gentle intent/tonight we make love until both our bodies are spent/the light from the candles give this room a certain glow/the fire makes its presants known, as it dances atop the candle wick's/the hot wax melt's onto the rose pettles placed around this space/creating the perfect aroma/you stand in the doorway waiting to be greeted by me/I walk torwards you with an energetic patience/"welcome home my queen, I have awaited your arrival"/"It's wonderful to be home my king, I have missed you so"/I sweep you off your feet and cradle you in my arm's as I carry you torwards the bed/as I hold you I can tell that you feel safe in my arm's/I can tell that you want this moment as much as I do/I place you every so gently apon our satin sheets/I take a step back just to look at you/damn I'm in awe of you/theres nothing in this world that rivals your beauty/theres no place I'd rather be then here with you/this is more then just love making, this is love/the antisipation grows in us both/you gesture for me to come to you/I do not hesitate/our lips are on a collision course/the closer we get the more the energy grows/I tease you and pull away/you look at me with frustration and grab the back of my neck, pulling me towards you/our lips finally meet/upon contact I can feel this uncontrolable energy coursing throughout my entire body/every single cell and mitochondria is affected/I never felt more alive/the passion brings me closer to you, and you to me/I begin to kiss your neck/you react by busying your hands on my streamline back/I kiss your spots to make you lose your inhibitions, your moans become more intense/I will not rest until I have explored every inch of you with my lips/I can not rest until I have traced your body's outline with my tongue/ you even taste beautiful/I am focused on the task at hand, but I still find a moment to be amazed at how stunning you are bathed in candle light/Locked in this embrace I cant stop myself from breathing harder/I cant stop my heart from beating faster/I can't stop my impulse's/I have lost control/I am lost in this moment/I find my way back to you by following the sound of your voice/you whisper "take me" but it's not enough/I want you to tell me with conviction/your whisper becomes more audible "take me"/I want more, I will bring the fire out of you/I will set free your passion/I tell you that i'm not convinced that you want this/you push me away, breaking our embrace/ I am shocked, but I see why/you look back at me from this position and tell me with such force "BOY! BETTER STOP PLAYING AND TAKE ME NOW."/That is what I was looking for, I place my hands around your slender waist, with both my thumbs in the small of your back/such a site to see/I position myself to............


I found myself on the c train. the eyes of everyone on that train were fixed on me. I was sweating and my heart was pounding. I can't believe this was a dream, It felt so real. I situated my self in the seat and refocused my attention to my ipod. I was not embarrassed by the eyes of people staring at me. All I could do was smile and laugh, because I know that tonight we make love.....I cant wait to get home.    thanks for the motivation.

free

please! I'm begging you. LET ME GO! I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be here with you. don't tell me you need me, please leave me. your holding me back. your holding me. holding my heart. you have my heart. you love me? love...me? how can this be love? this is not love. you lie to me. YOU LIE TO ME! DON'T TOUCH ME. don't you ever touch me again. i...i can't think.....its YOU. your doing this to me. stop....stop please. STOP IT NOW. i see what your doing. you want to confuse me. I know this isn't real. you make me see Lie's. stop distorting the truth. If you really love me then let me leave. let me go. free my heart from the grasp you have on it. free my soul. WHY CAN'T YOU FREE ME? I've done all that you asked of me. I've done you bidding for far to long. because of you I have destroyed all that I have built. Because of you I have hurt all that I have loved, and all that have loved me. your love is killing me. I can not grow as a person with you. you hinder me. you are but a desolate prison and I'll remain prisoner no longer. I will fight to shake loose of you. with everything I am I will fight to free myself of you. I will fight to send you back to the fiery pits of hell from which you were conceived. I have been fooled by your clever rouse for age's. now I see. I see that which is clear. YOU ARE HATE! I was tricked into believing that you were all there was. Never experiencing love how could I know? I know now. I know of love. I see it in the people. I see it in there eyes when they look at each other. their love is so evident I can feel it. it's warm and so inviting. a stark contrast to what you make me feel. Hatred, we are no longer an item. we are no longer in leauge. I have found the love in this world. I have found freedom from you.   Thanks for the motivation.

going hard on a monday

Here we go again/going hard on a Monday/my blackberry in hand/checked my emails, I'm the man/got Starbucks in hand/of chei lattes, I'm a fan/got confidence on demand/but be clear and understand/I haven't slept in two days/working on the task at hand/they tell me that this is what it takes to make it/to bring yourself near death and survive/well I am the first person account on the news at eleven, because I'm here to tell the story my brethren/my head still hurts from all the caffeine I ingested/eyes sensitive to the light, because of going from day to night/then back into day light/i keep them open with all my might/just eight hours more, then I can rest these eyes tonight/but right now I gotta fight/like tina turner when SHE beat ike/I fighting for a reason, so a little pain is alright/so you might just be starting/but understand i haven't stopped/while you sleep/ i'm in the lab/with a beaker glass/ trying to get things to pop/i guess i want it now more then i ever did/it's crippling somedays/but i'm strong enough to make it back and go hard on yet another monday. thanks for the motivation.

no care to spare

I'm sorry my dear but I have no care to spare/I reach inside my pocket but there is no care there/go to forest of feeling and find a care bear/maybe care can be found in the forest over there/maybe care can be found inside a dragons Lair/it's obvious your looking for care over here but i'm sorry my dear I have no care to spare/look under the bed, see if care is hiding under there/maybe you'll walk in a room and care will be sitting in a chair, sippin beer, reading books by the Bernstein bears, while wearing nike airs and putting on Aries/but I don't care, cause where ever care is I'm not there/you can do it like "where's waldo?" instead it can be like "where's care?"/he can where a red and white shirt, with a pair of red and white nike airs/but i don't care, cause where ever care is I'm not there/I heard you have a new boy friend, and I'm like yeah? well i don't care, and where ever care is I'm not there/plus I got a new girlfriend, and dog look at her rear/look at her face/ she's mad cute, and her hair's down to here/and I hope she don't think because i wrote this here, that i care/cause i don't care, and where ever care is I'm not there/but wait! the fact that I wrote this is weird/because if I didn't care, then I wouldn't have wrote this here/Great, now she got me thinking bout the time that we shared/ she used to sing to me, while I run my fingers through her hair/and some times i miss her yeah/but I don't care/she tried to leave the relationship when there was trouble in the air/said she need a break from me and ran off some where/I felt abandon and scared/can you imagine my fear?/to ride in a two seater with out the passenger there/seat belt, airbags, breaks all disappeared/the car crashed, I shot out the dash and flew in the air/yeah that's enough to make this back man not care, but there's more to the story so just listen here/you disappeared/ our relation ship course kinda veered/then out of the blue you tell me your pregnant and I should smile and cheer/I'm like, oh your pregnant, yeah?/well why did you leave and then tell me, ain't that kinda weird?/aww man, it's just as I feared/she did something she shouldn't have so now she's desperate and scared/she came back, and I'm like boom, pregnancy test, here. use this. the story's bottom we can get to here/she lied/I cried/I kinda died inside/I kicked her right out of my house and made her sleep in her ride/she came back, I came outside and hopped in the ride/that's when we had a conversation about the truth inside/I learned alot about that woman with no guilt to spare/she made it easy for this black man to have no care/

I'm sorry my dude, but i have no care to spare/the care I could spare evaporated in thin air/I had care in my waves, but i brushed it out my hair/come to my drive thru and order a quarter pound of care/and when you get to the register I'm like we fresh out of care/you can look at me sad, with them crocodile tears/tell me your getting evicted, and deep down your scared/but when I see you in person you have new pradas there?/when you get evicted, hold up a sign that Say's will work for care/because I don't care, and where ever care is i'm not there/a black man with ambition and drive is something to fear/and if you don't have either, you should get from around here/get inspired, and find a reason that will make me care/then I will care/and when ever you need me, I'll be right there. thanks for the motivation.

i'll never forget you shaquana, r.i.p

I parted ways with the world I knew. onward to a foreign land called stroudsburg Pennsylvania. i didn't know where it was, let alone anyone that lived there. do you know your brother was the first person i met? I remember walking into that classroom, and dennis and Sean Samuel's was there. dennis and sean was cracking mad jokes , and i was acting like i didn't want to laugh. but we all know how funny sean was. we all ice grilled each other for like 15 minutes until Dennis asked me if I play basketball. the rest is history. damn shaquana that seems like yesterday. seem like yesterday you was calling my name out like only you could in the hallway by the shop class, where we all would chill at the end of the day. how you and liz and all the ladies would come to the basketball games to watch us ball out. we thought we were stars at the Friday night parties after the basketball or football games. I remember how we would all jump in eugene newsomes green Pontiac aka the green machine, and chill in walmart like it was a club. dennis, me, and Eugene aka DHE. D-mac, Hollywood, and eugenus. my brothers. not a day went by that i wasn't chillin at your house, hanging with gene and d, flirting with you while kyle burrel was trying to mac. damn that was funny lol. everyone would come to my house since i lived in town and we would all chill and bug out, because i always had free crib. this hurts. when I got the news I didn't believe it. how could you be gone? how could you leave us? I remember when I would go to church with you guys, Dari and George. d was playing the drums and you would sing. and you could blow too. this was the last thing i thought i would be writing. a poem in the memory of you. damn this hurts. I cried when I got home. I just broke down. they don't understand that we were family. d and Eugene were my brothers and you was my sister. I didn't get the chance to say thank you. thank you for being my friend. thank you for the happy memories. you guys had a profound affect on my life. stroudsburg really changed me for the better and you played a part in that. shaquana I miss you already. you left us way to soon. But If i have anything to say about it I want my kids to know yours. you left behind a son and i hope i can tell him stories of how great his mom was. the memories we made in stroudsburg. we all went our separate ways in life. we weren't as close as we was in stroudsburg. that's my fault. I gotta go on with life knowing that we had a falling out for no reason, and now your gone. now your gone. in your name i will aways remember stroudsburg. I will always remember you. my friend, shaquana. r.i.p

old dog/new son

your a dog with old ticks/new flea's and no tricks/and any relationship you get in the chick wont stick/you seem to think the world revolves around your dick, so the empty rhetoric you spit is filled with lines related to it/ your willing to stick any chick dumb enough to fall for it/the thought of being by yourself your so appalled to it/you laugh at the notions of being alone with your thoughts and emotions/guys like you never think their the problem, only the solution/you seem to think your gods gift to a chick/and your quick to call a woman a bitch if she ignores the bullshit you kick/so you r.Kelly the situation, patently waiting in your Nissan with the 50% tents on/in front of high schools to find school girls to use, because you think their young impressionable fools/prison you should be facing/that's somebodies daughter your statutory raping/come around mine and they gonna find empty shell casings/no I'm not preaching to thee/I simply just had an Epiphany /by watching you I learned what not to be/your a walking metaphor that's stand in front of corner stores/a tree with no leaves, get it a tree? no leaves/stationary with no destination/you say drug dealers your occupation, but the product for sell you smoke/it must be laced with dope cause brother you look broke/you need a friend, a hobby, a homie, someone to mold thee into the man you should be/and since you got a little homie, word of advice and I suggest you listen/in his life you should not be missing/so pay attention to your son, his father wasn't sh*t but he could be the one/water your seeds so your child wont grow up like his father.......A BUM. thanks for the motivation.

the kings return

I bestowed upon thee the keys to the city/and you changed the locks on me/I've given more then any man/I give until i am depleted/I look for you to replenish what is lost and you sap even more from me/my vision is blurred and my body weary/I can not go on much longer, I can not continue to please this way/I am the picture of health, a pillar of strength, a man amongst boy's, still I'm rendered useless in your wake/I stand outside your city alone/I await the gates to open for me/ just the thought of walking the streets that you constructed bring vitality anew/I only dream of such a day/standing outside you city gates brings quick reminder of how I am but a Meir peasant to a queen/and queens do not lay in service to a peasant/never a king I was to you/ I never drank of the royal nectar from your cup, after a long day of kingly duties/I never fed from the royal grape vine held firmly in your graceful grasp/I never expect much because I always receive so little/my soul cries out for more and I will no longer ignore it/I will no longer be your peasant, and you should no longer See me as such/I am not to be taken for granted/you open the gates for me every so often, I feel like a tourist/I roam the city looking for you until you find me/the queen is to be serviced/being in your presence used to bring such joy, now I am angered by the site of you/the peasant you expect has come to reclaim his throne/the king has returned/so do not expect much from me my queen until I am treated as such. thanks for the motivation

the question you won't answer

I am the aquarian. filled with questions. questions for the unknown. to find the answer is my quest. I suffer to know. am I in thirst for knowledge? or conquest of knowing? one can guess. she is the sagittarian. quick to anger if integrity is ever in question. I question if you fight with such passion for truth or lies? one may never know. this is flawed. I find comfort in words. words that you simply wont say. you keep your answer vague. I am confused. yet your actions tell a different story. your action speak of deep emotion. your action's speak of commitment. If I am aware that your action's speak volumes, then why do I question? because I beg to hear it. once it is said I will know. once those words are spoken I will feel the truth. then I will know what to make of your passion. my nature is stubborn. questions need answers. I need to know, but I need you. my obsession with knowing may ultimately drive you away. then I will be stuck trying to answer this question. why was hearing you say i love you more important then experiencing it? I wont question. thanks for the motivation.

friends?

WHAT? friends? me and you? naw, look why pretend/I am not your lover/I am not your friend/I'm not the brother you wish you had/I'm certainly not your man/I'm not good at playing make believe, so make like a tree and leave/go bananas and split/go dip and kick a rock or two/because I can only be real/fake is not even a option boo/I'm giving you an option to/keep it real or die slow/it sounds harsh, but that's really the only way that I know/ I was there every time you needed me/even when I ain't have to be/made you part of my family, you were living comfortably/but that's when you turned on me/you did this more then once, I should have learned by now, shame on me/now I'm shunning you/wish u was a dude, I'd son you/take you to the park and we could shoot the 1, 2/ but the situation ain't that serious to want to take it there/I ain't that furious/as a matter of fact I don't care/cause I will not share my water with the thirsty/you can dehydrate it wont hurt me/because as a man I did the best I can to stand with a person that thought was my friend/you act more like my enemy/and empathy you simply wont get/I will not be fooled with the same sh*t/I learned a lot about my self and other people/ Its true we are not created equal/and desperation makes people so deceitful/ so if I extend my hand with an olive branch at the end, and you push it away, don't expect that hand the next day/especially if you lied to me to try and get your way/but I'm not mad/in fact/thank you for the motivation today/you motivate me in a special way/you fake, phony, fraud of a friend/ do not try to make amends/until you see your self for what you really are and.............CHANGE. THANKS FOR THE MOTIVATION.

stars

the stars are aligned just right. I see what is clear. my future dance's across the night sky. I'm not home here, I need to be with you. I know I must earn my birthright. but one day they will confide in me. they will tell me their stories in exchange for my mysterious comfort. I do not belong here, I want to be with you. Impatient I am. I recognize my flaws. My youth brings haste. It's not time for me. I have much to do before I can inspire. I do not wish for my shine to be litless. I have much to expirence before I can empathies with the world. To feel the emotion of the world I must simply live, learn, love. Then I will be ready. Then I can be with you. I want to be with you. thanks for the motivation.

fail

My associate Failure came to visit me . He showed up out of nowhere. He ruined my plains for a better future. I hated him for a while, But I couldn't stay mad at him. He called and explained why he took that action, or rather why he took no action at all. He told me I failed due to poor planing and even poorer execution. Even though failure is not my friend, I can always count on him to tell the truth. A lot of people don't like him. And that's understandably so. But I understand him. I learn from him every time he decides to visit. I told him I would not give up, Because the more he visits, the more determined I become. His sister success Is a beautiful woman and just a date with her deserves my best effort. thanks for the motivation.

we lost each other

I ache for what my grandparents have. 56 years on this earth, together. their trials and tribulations were documented just like everybody Else's. he was an alcoholic. she gambled away the rent money. Two individuals with crippling flaws. both made in gods image, but perfect they could never be. I think about how different their lives would be if they never met. would my grandfather have had the strength to overcome his descent into alcoholism? would my grandmother have been able to curtail the overpowering urge to gamble? one can only guess. but this is not about how they would have been apart, but rather what they achieved together. both overcoming obsticals for the greater good of their relationship. 56 years is a long time to love someone. my generation doesn't understand what it takes to make a relationship work for such a long time. we cant make it past the the honeymoon stage which is about 3 months. after 3 months flaws rise to the surface and breakup is emanate. we are the microwave generation. everything is fast pace, i need it now, put no effort into it generation. that has carried over to our relationships. If a man does not have everything then he is not acceptable to that woman. she does not see him as equal. she does not see him as a man. If a woman has more then a man then that man can not accept the strength of that woman. emasculated he feels. why is it a problem if a woman makes more then a man? did woman not fight for the right to be equal? well then be equal if not better. if your man does not make as much as you then help him make more. help him to realize his potential. If his woman does not believe in him then who will? if a woman makes more the a man then a man should not feel less then a man. he should be a real man and embrace her strength. Strength should be valued in the companion that stands next to you. I believe my grandparents have more strength then i can possibly imagine. love and strength allowed them to fight off their demons while holding on to and supporting each other along the way. If one couldn't then the other did. if she spent the rent money gambling, then he soldered up his own to keep a roof over his family's head. why? because love and sacrifice allows you to unconditionally love a person.

~my love is gold~

I will wrap you in my servitude and attentiveness/I study that which brings glee to thee/you walk the earth with the grace of a goddess, and when you enter our kingdom you will be greeted as such/I will kneel at the feet of perfection/cradling such a delicate appendage with the care of a new born child/sout and earthly gravels will be washed away with milk and honey, as I massage the skin of an angel/I can not offer the spoils of the world/but your presence inspires me to do so/I offer my affection, my attentiveness. myself/I will show you how I feel/I will show you what you are worth/until i can provide the spoils of the world, my love is gold.

distant

I cant take this anymore. what have we become? where are you? it seem like your gone but your right here. I can see you but i don't feel you anymore. I don't feel your presence. I don't like this feeling you give me. I don't like this distance you emit. this world we live in was not made for one to walk alone. we used to walk together. are we walking apart? have you found a path more suitable? Is the road better traveled? please talk to me. SAY SOMETHING! have I fallen victim to my emotion? have I become dependent on you? It must be me. I am to blame. when we started I wanted you. now I NEED you. I crave you. I no longer want to play the game's men and women play, rather i want to submit to something bigger then we humans can comprehend. I no longer want to search for a love that I know I have found. I feel alone in this. AM I ALONE IN THIS? please tell me the truth. do you want this? do you want me? yes? then why wont you show me? you leave you on my own to much. I can stand as a man should, but I'm better with you presence to inspire me. The reason I can stand at all is knowing that if I fall, you will be there to soften the blow. will you be there? my confidence is weary. I need to know and you wont say. WHY WONT YOU TELL ME? Please don't do this to me. I cant take this anymore. I let you into my world. I let you inhabit me. you have experienced my cultures, traveled my continents, and sailed the majestic seas of my soul. Is this not a world in which you can live? It has been cultivated for this moment. I have built this world for you. Others have been here, but none have reached this point. They just visited, but will you stay? I don't like this distance. you leave me on my own too much. I miss my love. I miss you. I will be here waiting. I will be here creating our garden of Eden. I hope this is a world in which you want to live. please return, I hate this distance. no thank you for this motivation.

my bed

my bed keeps stealing my ambition, it seems she never wants me to leave her embrace. she holds me in her arms until I fall asleep and when I wake up she pulls me back to her. she knows I work hard and I'm not home much, and when I get back she greets me with arms wide open and let's me cheat on her with sleep. thanks for the motivation.

i dont feel like writing

i don't feel like writing today. i want to but the pen wont move. it just sits there, mocking me. a reminder of how uninspired i am. i don't feel like writing today, even though i have much to say. so many things i want to share with the world. so many emotions i want to articulate. i want to write. i want to inspire. i want you to relate. but i cant because i am uninspired. I learned you cant manufacture inspiration. It has to happen on it's on. I tried that last night. failed at it. it left me empty, kinda hollow. It was supposed to shock my spirit and feed my soul, but instead left me hungry. I cant write because I'm running on fumes. like a car with no gas I'm sputtering. I don't feel like writing today. hell i don't even feel like breathing. i could just blame it on the crappy weather but i know its me. I just don't feel it so i shouldn't write. It wont be what it should. It won't be real. like the inspiration i tried to manufacture it won't be organic. I hope I can write tomorrow. I hope i can articulate what I feel. I hope I can write and relate to the reader. I hope to inspire new thoughts and emotions. Tomorrow is a new day. I will feel new emotions. I WILL WRITE TOMORROW. Then I will thank you for the motivation.