lose/gain

Why does this lost feel like a gain? Why does it feel like I amassed more in the end the from from which I came? If the origin represented the negative, and the ending just the opposite, then the ending holds the attribute's  of monetary profits. I'm no profit, But with foresight Guess I sensed impending doom. So with that I just prepared for the inevitable gloom. Is it because I been here before? Is it because I except the things I can not change? Or is it because I understand I'm in a privileged position to win? I see a finish line and I just shed extra weight so now I'm sprinting. What did I really lose? What did I really gain? I guess only time can answer that. I know what was lost, or rather what lost me. I smile because I'm gaining on my dream. I can see it with such clarity even though it's still in the distance. But I see it more then ever before. So I can smile for that reason alone. I can focus on that instead of what I lost, or rather what lost me.