this time last year

this time last year, I bought a ring to place on your finger. As I would bow on one knee to tell you that I love you. I was going to engage you in my love, capture your spirit, mind, body, heart soul in one. I never got to do that because I did something dumb. Because of that I lost something near and dear to my heart. I lost control of my life because of issues I couldn't handle. the pressure of my family and an old relationship that  I didnt care about, pushed me to the brink of utter destruction. Because of that I destroyed what was heaven sent for me. This time last year I hated women. ALL women. Any women next to me was going to feel my wrath. Every relationship I ever had was so bad. It created a beast that I couldn't control. picture a man lifeless, walking around with no soul, no hold, no control at all. Objectified all women because of what some did.This time last year, I hurt a really good woman, because I let these good for nothing "bitches" get the best of me. They ripped me apart and left me for dead, lifeless in the street. A man I didn't recognize took it out on you. This time last year I fell so hard and couldn't get back up. I was hurt so bad and couldn't recover from it. I saw their faces when I looked at you. I saw their lies, cheating ways, when I looked in your eyes. My pain controlled me, took hold of me, reached deep inside of me and wouldn't let go. I tried to be a good man but I wasn't the same. I take full responsibility though, those hoes are not to blame. I fought to be Eugene woody again. I fought to be the man I am. I freed myself of the pain that gripped me. I freed myself from the hell I endured. And I'm never going back to what I was last year. No woman will ever have that power over me. Never again. No matter what they do. Just now I was tested, and played for a fool. I should be broken like last year, nope not this dude. This time last year prepared me for this time again. And this time i'll get it right. This time I'm focused On a life that is heaven sent from the lord above. This time this year I didn't break. Hell I didn't even flinch. Yeah they tried to inflict pain but I didn't feel a pinch. This time this year, I'm the man you should of had. The man holding that ring trying to be your children's dad. Your husband, best friend, companion, greatest man you ever had. I'm happy that your happy, thats why I don't feel bad. A new year approaches, and my future has never look this bright. I wonder what i'll write about this time next year? I look forward to it.